Addendum

What I want to say about all these relationship issues is simply this: If people can't face up to problems in their relationships, and honestly confront them themselves and with the other party or parties concerned, invariably -- there are always exception to the rule -- you can trace it down to a lack of self-esteem.

Yes, the underlying reason for letting your fears or insecurities cripple you from being honest is -- I believe -- a lack of self-respect.
When you have self-respect, you like yourself and will not be too unduly disturbed if the other person doesn't like or respond to you the way you want to. You will  be able to accept the other side's response -- even if it hurts. But you won't fall apart. The response may be hard to face, but you will be able to face it because you like yourself and will not want to hurt yourself any more than you already have been hurt. You accept the reality ... and move on.

Self-respecting people seek honesty. They confront you for the truth because they can deal with it. They like themselves enough not to feel unstably rejected, disappointed, discouraged ...... etc, etc.

People with low self-esteem, on the other hand, will always skirt the issue because they really don't want to know the truth for fear of rejection, disappointment, disilllusion .... etc, etc. Unconsciously, they assume the worst and avoid honestly confronting the issue because they can't deal with it because they fear the outcome would be unbearable. So, they avoid confronting the other person to get at the root of the problem.

So, they never know the truth and live a lie -- assuming the other person's response is negative.

It really is a pity because the assumption may be wrong and the relationship may be estranged for no apparent reason other than because you chose to believe what seems rather than what is. You won't know for sure if what seems is truly what is unless you speak to the party or parties concerned.

Speaking to the other person -- communicating -- opens the way for honest clarifications and clears up a whole murky cloud of misunderstanding.

How do you build up self-esteeem? I think it begins by affirming yourself. We need to like who we are. We need people who will affirm us. It makes us realise that we are likeable people. Then, it becomes easier to affirm others. In doing so, we communicate to them that they are likeable, too.

So, you see, affirmation is a boost to self-respect. They co-exist. And both are a boost to hitting it off!

If we want healthy relationships where people are relating in honest communication, we first have to be self-respecting human beings. Then, it becomes easy to affirm another and a lot of relationship problems will evaporate into thin air!

We will actually become nice people to be with!