Time to ACT!

Now that the long festive season is over, I will get down to some serious business!

There are two positive things that we, Malaysians, are enjoying under the Prime Ministership of Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi. Firstly, we are relieved of the frenetic pace at which we moved under his very accomplished predecessor, Tun Dr Mathathir Mohamad, who, goal-driven, drove everyone to move ahead at a galloping speed! I think, maybe, we had had enough of that and was quite glad for Abdullah's laid-back pace.

Secondly, we are seeing -- perhaps, for the first time here in Malaysia -- that with or without leadership, the country will run by itself. Now, I don't know whether that is a sign of leadership or the lack of it. But, one thing is certain: Thanks to the previous leadership who laid the foundation for a stable government, the country has developed to a point that it is no longer dependent on one leader to keep it going.

I think that is a very good sign. There will be no more room for megalomanical leaders. But, unfortunately, for the same reason, a puppet could be running the country and nobody will know the difference. And, that is why, I believe, the March 8 general elections next weekend must be a turning point in our history.

If the government can run by itself, then, that is every reason why the citizen must now be more vigilant because otherwise he or she can be easily duped by a leadership, skilled in the art of corporate public relations, who may spin webs of wool over your eyes and blind you to seeing that his or her leadership really doesn't have much to show.

Since the last general elections, what has Malaysia to show? Plans on paper unveiled with blazing media fanfare. Yet, ordinary people like me still have to dig deep into our pockets to pay our bills, send our children to school and find alternatives all the time to survive because Plan A is always squeezed out by national policies of affirmative action.

We are no longer sure if the future holds prospects that will be better. Or, are things going to get worse and we will have to look for greener options beyond our borders?

If we want change for the better, then it is time to act. I think now is the time for the people to show that we want leaders to serve our needs so that we actually see the benefits in our hands. If they don't, now is the time to throw them out of office! The nation will still run and we will get a better crop of public servants!

Happy voting!

Yee Sang pictures!

I just have to include these two pictures of Yee Sang -- the Chinese raw fish specialty that appears around Chinese New Year. Raw fish, cleaned and salted would be mixed with crackers and a variety of pickled vegetables. Well-wishers stand around it and using chopsticks toss them around in a show of unity. It is also symbolic of helping one another in the sharing of prosperity.

It is a tradition, particularly, among the Cantonese-speaking community of the Chinese. According to a Cantonese friend, whatever you wish when you toss around Yee Sang will come true.

Well, I hope all the wishes we wished when tossing Yee Sang during our department's Chinese New Year lunch will come true for all of us!

A Meaningful Chinese New Year

My Chinese New Year began when I dropped by at work when on leave on Feb 4. I was pleasantly surprised by a packet of mandarin oranges on my desk. "Wow! I got something for Chinese New Year!"

My former collegue, Pei Soo, who now lectures at Universiti Malaya, remembered me! The oranges were duly delivered at my table by her husband, Yeo. After the holidays, I was again pleasantly surprised by another package of mandarin oranges on my table -- this time, from See who sits in the cubicle next to mine! And it came with a packet of egg roles. How lovely! I now have a long supply of mandarins in my fridge!

Mandarin oranges, red lanterns, and lion dances announce that Chinese New Year is here.

I am not Chinese, but Malaysian. So, I enjoy all the festive seasons each race of Malaysians celebrate! Infact, all of us celebrate each other's festivals in one way or another. If we don't actually celebrate it, we use the holidays they offer to go on holiday somewhere or spend it with family and friends.

This Chinese New Year I spent it with family. The first day of Chinese New Year happened to fall on my eldest brother's birthday on Feb 7. He was estranged from the rest of us but in his later years when he began to lose his memory we rallied around to help him and put him in a good home.

To say the least, he is a challenge to the caregivers at Calvaryland (the social arm of my church) where he is a resident of the old folks home. But they have resolutely taken on the challenge and take very good care of him. Thank God for people who help those who can't help themselves!

Well, it being his birthday, some of us who didn't have to visit Chinese friends at lunch, trooped into my car to visit my eldest brother. We arrived at lunch time and had a simple Indian meal of nasi briyani (some kind of rice casserole) and mutton curry for the benefit of the birthday boy who also cut his birthday cake and everyone had a share.

This was probably the first time in more than 50 years when my eldest brother cut a birthday cake! I think he was moved but, typically, didn't show it! Neither did his younger brother (younger by a year) who is very close to him. Those two were always close to each other and no matter what my eldest brother did, my second eldest brother was always partial to him.

After the food came the highlight -- the tour of the farm. In a corner of Calvaryland, chicks, chicken and ducks are reared and pineapple and dragon fruit plants are grown. My very urban grand-niece and grand-nephew were so excited seeing these things for the very first time!

"I have never seen a duck before!" exclaimed Aishyra, walking behind her older brother who had taken over my camera to take pictures of the chicken and ducks he was following and which were running away from him!

As we finished the tour, he saw the chicken heading towards the stairs of the building, and Joshua excitdely shouted: "They are heading for the stairs!" He ran ahead, camera in hand, to take pictures of that!

The farm pictures above were taken by 10-year-old Joshua.

Getting back to my second eldest brother's home where everyone generally meets, a visitor noted how quiet he was. My second eldest brother isn't exactly a quiet man. I told her that he had a meaningful afternoon.

I think nobody was more moved than my second eldest brother that his family had finally accepted his erstwhile difficult older brother and that they showed it by visiting him.

Ties that bind. They give hope that things will get better.

Loss is not Lost

Loss is something I am very familiar with. In the last two decades, I have lost everyone close to me in one way or another. You have no choice but to cope with it. But, I think I lost something human along the way of coping with death and separation. Somehow, in the coping, without realising it -- perhaps, it's an involuntary defence mechanism -- at the back of your head somewhere, you relate as if you won't get hurt if the other party leaves. You always leave that option open -- that person may opt out for one reason or another. And, I learnt never to close that door. So, if someone wants to leave, he or she is free .... .

It is a good way to cope but not a great way to live! If you lose someone here, it does not mean that you will lose another there. It is something I am consciously learning to believe. Some things I have to let go. With other things, I am learning to open and close the door of my options. With people who enter my life, I now close the door after them -- to let them know that the door is not open for them to leave anytime! If I leave the door open, they may think that I want them to leave!

But, if -- despite closing the door -- they want to leave, I will open the door for them. Now, at least, they are leaving because they want to, not because they think I want them to.

It is a strange psychology of social relations. But social deprivation can do strange things to you.

Why am I writing about this? Because I see loss all around me. And, I see people becoming lost from all the loss. And I think it is not right for the living to be so lost. We won't be living any more. I think we need to keep on opening the door and closing after those who enter -- and take the risk that they may want out sometime. We live when we take the risk. And, I think that's all that matters: That we live, and live to the fullest.