Happy Birthday, Wong KaiFu. I know you are now incommunicado and that's ok. But, I still want you to know that I didn't forget your birthday! Mainly because it falls in the same month as mine! But more because the date was unusual -- 1. I remembered!
Have a great day with lots of fun!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Hot Over Current Issues
Firstly, I like Fishie's attitude. She met with a disappointment, admitted it, and as she immersed herself in all that varsity work, she forgot about it -- hopefully -- and could still laugh over it! Atta, girl, that's the way to go!
I think that's the best way to deal with the disappointments of life: Face up to it, admit how you feel, then immerse yourself in something new or absorbing and move on. After a while, you can even laugh over it! He! He!
Secondly, I really must say something about the Elizabeth Wong pictures. Malaysians are a bunch of voyeurs! They are too cowardly to exhibit but they love to watch! What if that were your mother's or sister's pictures? You wouldn't look. I didn't look out of respect for a fellow woman.
Our communal ties are so loose that we don't see another human being as someone connected with us. Not connected, that person just becomes a mass of flesh, not a human being, just someone you can fool around with! Shame on the person who took those pictures and abused the sanctity of the privacy of the relationship by passing the pictures for circulation. It wasn't as if she -- or he -- were married and having an affair or buying sex! What's wrong with sleeping in the nude?
There's that saying: What goes around comes around. I hate to think what will happen to those who took advantage of her vulnerablility. One day, I hope they will learn -- the hard and painful way -- that people are to be respected and protected when vulnerable.
Thirdly, I can't believe what the Umno Youth members did to MP Karpal Singh! Intimidating him by ganging up and surrounding him outside Parliament House! My goodness! A gang of young men -- punks, rather -- picking a fight with an old man in a wheelchair! How low can some people sink? And, all that Khairy Jamaluddin could say was that there is "real, explosive anger" at the grassroots level? Is he giving his tacit approval to such thuggish behaviour or is he saying that he can't control his members? If the latter, then, why is he the leader? He should step down!
People may be upset by some of the things Karpal Singh says but deal with it through democratic means and according to the law. Not by taking the law into their own hands. This is yet another example of political swaggering that has come threateningly close to bodily harm. And, what has the police done about it? I would like to see what the police are going to do to.
All of Malaysia is clamouring for democracy, except -- it appears -- for a few who still want the old uneven playing field where they can flaunt their political might over the powerless and get away with it. God forbid they ever get into seats of government. What dread would befall this nation it they did! It would be a case of giving garlands to monkeys!
I think that's the best way to deal with the disappointments of life: Face up to it, admit how you feel, then immerse yourself in something new or absorbing and move on. After a while, you can even laugh over it! He! He!
Secondly, I really must say something about the Elizabeth Wong pictures. Malaysians are a bunch of voyeurs! They are too cowardly to exhibit but they love to watch! What if that were your mother's or sister's pictures? You wouldn't look. I didn't look out of respect for a fellow woman.
Our communal ties are so loose that we don't see another human being as someone connected with us. Not connected, that person just becomes a mass of flesh, not a human being, just someone you can fool around with! Shame on the person who took those pictures and abused the sanctity of the privacy of the relationship by passing the pictures for circulation. It wasn't as if she -- or he -- were married and having an affair or buying sex! What's wrong with sleeping in the nude?
There's that saying: What goes around comes around. I hate to think what will happen to those who took advantage of her vulnerablility. One day, I hope they will learn -- the hard and painful way -- that people are to be respected and protected when vulnerable.
Thirdly, I can't believe what the Umno Youth members did to MP Karpal Singh! Intimidating him by ganging up and surrounding him outside Parliament House! My goodness! A gang of young men -- punks, rather -- picking a fight with an old man in a wheelchair! How low can some people sink? And, all that Khairy Jamaluddin could say was that there is "real, explosive anger" at the grassroots level? Is he giving his tacit approval to such thuggish behaviour or is he saying that he can't control his members? If the latter, then, why is he the leader? He should step down!
People may be upset by some of the things Karpal Singh says but deal with it through democratic means and according to the law. Not by taking the law into their own hands. This is yet another example of political swaggering that has come threateningly close to bodily harm. And, what has the police done about it? I would like to see what the police are going to do to.
All of Malaysia is clamouring for democracy, except -- it appears -- for a few who still want the old uneven playing field where they can flaunt their political might over the powerless and get away with it. God forbid they ever get into seats of government. What dread would befall this nation it they did! It would be a case of giving garlands to monkeys!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Anonymous Unmasked!
Sam? My student, Sam? Oh, dear!
Sam, if a bird loves a fish, it is one of those "can't be" relationships. Don't waste you time on it! "Can't be" relationships just can't be. So, there's no point in hoping for a future in it. Leave it and move on. But, there is no rule on Earth which says that birds and fishes can't be friends. Step back a little and put some emotional distance between you and the other person and when you are up to it, just be a good friend.
If for whatever reason, you can't be lovers, then just be good friends!
Fishie, I love your comment and the way you said it! It's so fun! Sam, take Fishie's advice! Many of us have gone through this "can't be" relationships and not just survived but come through as better people, better in touch with our emotions. It is all part of discovering yourself and others! It shows what love you are capable of and gives you an opportunity to handle it well. When you handle it well, you mature.
So, don't worry! Be happy!
By the way, it's not a "waste" writing! I enjoy it. And, yes, Fishie, we have a date in Kampar!
Sam, if a bird loves a fish, it is one of those "can't be" relationships. Don't waste you time on it! "Can't be" relationships just can't be. So, there's no point in hoping for a future in it. Leave it and move on. But, there is no rule on Earth which says that birds and fishes can't be friends. Step back a little and put some emotional distance between you and the other person and when you are up to it, just be a good friend.
If for whatever reason, you can't be lovers, then just be good friends!
Fishie, I love your comment and the way you said it! It's so fun! Sam, take Fishie's advice! Many of us have gone through this "can't be" relationships and not just survived but come through as better people, better in touch with our emotions. It is all part of discovering yourself and others! It shows what love you are capable of and gives you an opportunity to handle it well. When you handle it well, you mature.
So, don't worry! Be happy!
By the way, it's not a "waste" writing! I enjoy it. And, yes, Fishie, we have a date in Kampar!
Monday, February 23, 2009
By The Way, Anonymous .....
I had a weekend of good rest. So, my head is clear and my thoughts gelled!
So, anonymous, I hope you are not the type who can only stop and stare and don't do anything else! Then, you can't blame the one you love for loving another, can you?
I don't know if this is the scenario with you. But, if a guy got close to the woman he loves, and then she said she has found another love, then, of course, it will hurt alot. But, you will know for sure, this is not the one for you and you will find closure. It may hurt but you will be able to move on and give yourself another chance. If you can't, then it is best to go for counselling.
But, if the guy doesn't do anything to draw close to the woman of his dreams, how is she to know what he feels or want? She may have waited and not getting any initiative from him, she may have responded to someone who did. She gave herself a chance because, maybe, the first guy didn't act!
Again, I don't know if this is the case with you. If it is, and you haven't already done it, it still isn't too late. Act, but act immediately.Take the risk and take steps -- big steps (small steps are for the unsure; big steps are taken by the confident and those sure of what they want) -- towards your love. Do all the things men do to get the woman they want. If her response is negative, you know for sure she is not the one for you. But, you would still have grown in emotional honesty and emotional integrity. The latter follows the former. You would have affirmed yourself as someone with honest feelings and the other as well. She will be affirmed to know that someone loves her and it would enhance her self-esteeem just as much as yours would be enhanced. And, you get closure and you will be ready to move on.
Surprisingly, if she responds positively, then, you have hit lottery! You get-the-woman-you-love! Now, how many men can boast of that? You'd be one of the elite!
For some reason, I am assuming, Anonymous, that you are a guy. If you are not, I think, the same could apply to a woman, as well.
Good luck! Enjoy The Chase!
Kenny! Kenny, you have resurfaced! Good to know that you do visit this blog. Yes, I look forward to seeing you in Kampar.
So, anonymous, I hope you are not the type who can only stop and stare and don't do anything else! Then, you can't blame the one you love for loving another, can you?
I don't know if this is the scenario with you. But, if a guy got close to the woman he loves, and then she said she has found another love, then, of course, it will hurt alot. But, you will know for sure, this is not the one for you and you will find closure. It may hurt but you will be able to move on and give yourself another chance. If you can't, then it is best to go for counselling.
But, if the guy doesn't do anything to draw close to the woman of his dreams, how is she to know what he feels or want? She may have waited and not getting any initiative from him, she may have responded to someone who did. She gave herself a chance because, maybe, the first guy didn't act!
Again, I don't know if this is the case with you. If it is, and you haven't already done it, it still isn't too late. Act, but act immediately.Take the risk and take steps -- big steps (small steps are for the unsure; big steps are taken by the confident and those sure of what they want) -- towards your love. Do all the things men do to get the woman they want. If her response is negative, you know for sure she is not the one for you. But, you would still have grown in emotional honesty and emotional integrity. The latter follows the former. You would have affirmed yourself as someone with honest feelings and the other as well. She will be affirmed to know that someone loves her and it would enhance her self-esteeem just as much as yours would be enhanced. And, you get closure and you will be ready to move on.
Surprisingly, if she responds positively, then, you have hit lottery! You get-the-woman-you-love! Now, how many men can boast of that? You'd be one of the elite!
For some reason, I am assuming, Anonymous, that you are a guy. If you are not, I think, the same could apply to a woman, as well.
Good luck! Enjoy The Chase!
Kenny! Kenny, you have resurfaced! Good to know that you do visit this blog. Yes, I look forward to seeing you in Kampar.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Kampar Visit
I will be visiting the UTAR Kampar campus on March 16 to give a guest lecture at a foundation course class. I would be free from 11.30am to 5pm and I won't have anything to do during that time. So, I would love to meet some of my students who are now at the Kampar campus. I will be hanging loose at the canteen if I am not at somebody's PC surfing the Net!
I will give my contact number to Brian. So, please contact him to contact me!
Brian, please send me an email to marygp23@gmail.com and I will give you my contact number. Hope to see some of you soon!
I will give my contact number to Brian. So, please contact him to contact me!
Brian, please send me an email to marygp23@gmail.com and I will give you my contact number. Hope to see some of you soon!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Love Lost is Love Gained
At last, Fishie, I hear from you! I was wondering what happened to you. Glad to know that you are busy and enjoying your subjects! And dating your assignments! Who knows who will come along with those assignments! Until then, yes, I like that, Happy Singles' Day!
By the way, Brian, what is your blog address? I keyword searched Brother Bear and got a long list of Brother Bears but no Brian! I am quite curious to read your Valentine's Day blog!
Thank you for your compliment, Anonymous, and, hmmmmm..... . That's a difficult question you asked! I am not God, you know! I don't have all the answers! Just know a thing or two from some experience!
But, it is a good point that you raised. What happens when you love someone and that person loves someone else? Sigh! That's one of the worst things that could happen to you! But, that's reality isn't it?
Now, what was it that that ancient philosopher, Socrates said? "It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all!"
We hope things work out the way we want to, but when they don't, then we should make some adjustments as we go along. If the one we love, loves another, I guess the best thing to do is to forget and move on. No point waiting for love that is lost. I think everyone knows that. But, the issue is how we move on.
Some look for a willing partner on the rebound. Others swing to the other extreme and swear never to love again. Most settle for the next good thing that comes along. And, why not? Second best is better than nothing at all!
The only problem is when you settle for second best, and then the really good happens -- then, you have to deal with complications. I guess that's reality: you have to deal -- as best as you can -- with the issues at hand to lessen the pain.
Heartbreak can kill all loving. But, we can't guard against heartbreak; we just have to learn how to deal with it in such a way that we are still able to love.
My Valentine's Day message to my students was to encourage them to seek good relationships so that hurt and pain are lessened. They are starting out and they need to know that good things are out there ahead of them. Yet, I am fully aware that reality can and will deal a heavy hand. In the midst of good, though, it would be easier to cope with the pains and struggles of life we call reality.
Ok, enough of philosophising! There's a lot of living to do!
I forgot to add a picture to my Valentine's Day message (still haven't had time to get a camera!). So, I got one online and have uploaded it here. Enjoy!
By the way, Brian, what is your blog address? I keyword searched Brother Bear and got a long list of Brother Bears but no Brian! I am quite curious to read your Valentine's Day blog!
Thank you for your compliment, Anonymous, and, hmmmmm..... . That's a difficult question you asked! I am not God, you know! I don't have all the answers! Just know a thing or two from some experience!
But, it is a good point that you raised. What happens when you love someone and that person loves someone else? Sigh! That's one of the worst things that could happen to you! But, that's reality isn't it?
Now, what was it that that ancient philosopher, Socrates said? "It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all!"
We hope things work out the way we want to, but when they don't, then we should make some adjustments as we go along. If the one we love, loves another, I guess the best thing to do is to forget and move on. No point waiting for love that is lost. I think everyone knows that. But, the issue is how we move on.
Some look for a willing partner on the rebound. Others swing to the other extreme and swear never to love again. Most settle for the next good thing that comes along. And, why not? Second best is better than nothing at all!
The only problem is when you settle for second best, and then the really good happens -- then, you have to deal with complications. I guess that's reality: you have to deal -- as best as you can -- with the issues at hand to lessen the pain.
Heartbreak can kill all loving. But, we can't guard against heartbreak; we just have to learn how to deal with it in such a way that we are still able to love.
My Valentine's Day message to my students was to encourage them to seek good relationships so that hurt and pain are lessened. They are starting out and they need to know that good things are out there ahead of them. Yet, I am fully aware that reality can and will deal a heavy hand. In the midst of good, though, it would be easier to cope with the pains and struggles of life we call reality.
Ok, enough of philosophising! There's a lot of living to do!
I forgot to add a picture to my Valentine's Day message (still haven't had time to get a camera!). So, I got one online and have uploaded it here. Enjoy!
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Valentine for You, My Students -- When Love Comes Around
My friend, Kimmie, who visits this blog, asked me if I was going to write a Valentine's Day article. Well .... I thought, no. You see, I have not exactly been lucky in love. I get a great deal of unsolicited attention, most of it unwanted, but love? That has always eluded me! I figured if a man really loves me, he won't let me go. If he did, he is not worth holding on to. I let him go. (So, now you know why I am still single!)
Until recently. Then, I realised what I was missing. Now, I hope, again! And, I thought, maybe, I should write about love, after all! So, here's my piece. It is dedicated to all my students who endured through my classes!
Love is a wonderful thing, isn't it? But, you know, as we go chasing after it, we must make sure we don't equate it with sex or compatibility or companionship. The latter three are easy to get but to find love? That's a bit hard.
And, I have often wondered why? I think I have found the answer!
It all boils down to being unable to relate. When you can't relate, then, you can't communicate love. If you can't communicate love, you can't give it and someone or some people somewhere will go not having received it. Since they didn't receive it, they, themselves would be unable to give it, nor know how to receive it. And the cycle repeats.
Isn't that what happens when parents don't love their children? When brothers and sisters don't love each other. When husbands and wives don't love each other?
What happens? There is a lot of estrangement around. People can't relate and so don't connect. They become alone, isolated, dysfunctional beings deprived and starved of love, struggling and striving to give and receive love and somehow not getting it right.
What do you do when you are in that state? You have no choice but to seek alternatives. You can't connect, but in sex you find some semblance of a connection. You can't or don't want to connect emotionally, so you engage in casual sex. You think it is time to get married and haven't found a partner and you look for someone who is compatible, companiable and with whom you can have sex, and you settle down. Is there love in all of this? Yes, in some way. But, deep down you know it is not love as you really want it. But, you have made the choice.
Then, one day, you meet someone and love just happens and you realise what you have missed all along. But, it is too late because you are already committed to someone else. Or, because you didn't know how to relate and receive and give love, you didn't know how to handle love when it came to you. And, then, you have to consider separation and divorce. It is all very messy, isn't it? And, painful!
Wouldn't it be better to relate with the people around you as friends, and, when love happens you are free to enjoy it fully and freely? Even in such cases, sometimes, the relationships can't be because of specific irreconciliable differences, and both parties have to go their separate ways. It is sad but you have good memories of that person. You remember him or her with great fondness and will be thankful that there was no abuse of any sort. You leave the relationship enriched not deprived and better prepared for the real thing when it happens again and when it can be enjoyed.
On Valentine's Day today, that is what I want to wish for all of you whom I have taught. You are all at that age where you are discovering yourselves and others in terms of your feelings for them. I think it is a fantastic time to explore and discover. But, enjoy it through good friendships.
Don't look for sex, don't look for partners for the sake of having partners. Look for friends, good friends and relate with them with affection and respect. One day, you will find someone with whom love happens, and you will not regret!
For some, that day might come soon. For others, it might come later. And, for a few of you -- like me -- it may not come until after a very long time! But, don't despair. Live your life and build good abuse-free relationships because when love comes -- and, it will come when you are ready for it -- you will not regret! And, you will be thankful that you waited and didn't settle for second-best!
Happy Valentine's Day! Happy happy relating with one another!
Give me your comments! I would love to hear from you on this subject!
Until recently. Then, I realised what I was missing. Now, I hope, again! And, I thought, maybe, I should write about love, after all! So, here's my piece. It is dedicated to all my students who endured through my classes!
Love is a wonderful thing, isn't it? But, you know, as we go chasing after it, we must make sure we don't equate it with sex or compatibility or companionship. The latter three are easy to get but to find love? That's a bit hard.
And, I have often wondered why? I think I have found the answer!
It all boils down to being unable to relate. When you can't relate, then, you can't communicate love. If you can't communicate love, you can't give it and someone or some people somewhere will go not having received it. Since they didn't receive it, they, themselves would be unable to give it, nor know how to receive it. And the cycle repeats.
Isn't that what happens when parents don't love their children? When brothers and sisters don't love each other. When husbands and wives don't love each other?
What happens? There is a lot of estrangement around. People can't relate and so don't connect. They become alone, isolated, dysfunctional beings deprived and starved of love, struggling and striving to give and receive love and somehow not getting it right.
What do you do when you are in that state? You have no choice but to seek alternatives. You can't connect, but in sex you find some semblance of a connection. You can't or don't want to connect emotionally, so you engage in casual sex. You think it is time to get married and haven't found a partner and you look for someone who is compatible, companiable and with whom you can have sex, and you settle down. Is there love in all of this? Yes, in some way. But, deep down you know it is not love as you really want it. But, you have made the choice.
Then, one day, you meet someone and love just happens and you realise what you have missed all along. But, it is too late because you are already committed to someone else. Or, because you didn't know how to relate and receive and give love, you didn't know how to handle love when it came to you. And, then, you have to consider separation and divorce. It is all very messy, isn't it? And, painful!
Wouldn't it be better to relate with the people around you as friends, and, when love happens you are free to enjoy it fully and freely? Even in such cases, sometimes, the relationships can't be because of specific irreconciliable differences, and both parties have to go their separate ways. It is sad but you have good memories of that person. You remember him or her with great fondness and will be thankful that there was no abuse of any sort. You leave the relationship enriched not deprived and better prepared for the real thing when it happens again and when it can be enjoyed.
On Valentine's Day today, that is what I want to wish for all of you whom I have taught. You are all at that age where you are discovering yourselves and others in terms of your feelings for them. I think it is a fantastic time to explore and discover. But, enjoy it through good friendships.
Don't look for sex, don't look for partners for the sake of having partners. Look for friends, good friends and relate with them with affection and respect. One day, you will find someone with whom love happens, and you will not regret!
For some, that day might come soon. For others, it might come later. And, for a few of you -- like me -- it may not come until after a very long time! But, don't despair. Live your life and build good abuse-free relationships because when love comes -- and, it will come when you are ready for it -- you will not regret! And, you will be thankful that you waited and didn't settle for second-best!
Happy Valentine's Day! Happy happy relating with one another!
Give me your comments! I would love to hear from you on this subject!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Settling in
Kai Fu hitting it off with the lecturers? Really? Hmmmmmmm....... !!
So, you have settled into your programme, Brian? Or, still leaving your options open? It's good to explore and then settle on one area that you want to specialize in. I think things have a way of working out by themselves -- as we try out different things to find resolution!
By the way -- I thought I won't but now I think I will -- I will be writing a piece on Valentine's Day which will be posted on Friday. Please tell everyone about it because it is dedicated to all my students! But, oh, don't be disappointed if it doesn't turn out as expected!
So, you have settled into your programme, Brian? Or, still leaving your options open? It's good to explore and then settle on one area that you want to specialize in. I think things have a way of working out by themselves -- as we try out different things to find resolution!
By the way -- I thought I won't but now I think I will -- I will be writing a piece on Valentine's Day which will be posted on Friday. Please tell everyone about it because it is dedicated to all my students! But, oh, don't be disappointed if it doesn't turn out as expected!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Go Through Mum to Get Around Dad!
Mothers are wonderful, aren't they? Fathers (also wonderful -- in a different sort of way!) always want what is best for their children, especially their sons. They impose manly expectations on their sons, often subsuming their feelings and real interests for the greater good of "what is best for a man"! But, moms? They hear how their children's hearts are beating, don't they, Brian?
Looks like mum helped you work things out! That's a good strategy: go through mum! I have a suggestion but I don't know if it will help you, but it is worth thinking about. If there are electives in your degree programme, why not take those that are related to psychology and excel in them? You will be proving to your father that your interest is backed by good performance as well. And, he may realise that you have the determination to carve a future in that field! What do you think?
Tell Kai Fu the same thing. Switching to Business Administration is fine but if you don't have an area of specialization, once you graduate, you may have to start as a salesman first. Is he prepared to do that? If he has a specialization, like finance or economics (I think he will be good in either if he can get interested in them!), he could get a good position in the banking/finance system and through it -- with experience -- move anywhere in the world! I think he would fit into a life like that.
And, please tell him to stop skipping classes; he is ruining his reputation, after a 4GPA!
By the way, what did you mean by "If I fail 1/2" and "XD"? The jargon is beyond me!
Looks like mum helped you work things out! That's a good strategy: go through mum! I have a suggestion but I don't know if it will help you, but it is worth thinking about. If there are electives in your degree programme, why not take those that are related to psychology and excel in them? You will be proving to your father that your interest is backed by good performance as well. And, he may realise that you have the determination to carve a future in that field! What do you think?
Tell Kai Fu the same thing. Switching to Business Administration is fine but if you don't have an area of specialization, once you graduate, you may have to start as a salesman first. Is he prepared to do that? If he has a specialization, like finance or economics (I think he will be good in either if he can get interested in them!), he could get a good position in the banking/finance system and through it -- with experience -- move anywhere in the world! I think he would fit into a life like that.
And, please tell him to stop skipping classes; he is ruining his reputation, after a 4GPA!
By the way, what did you mean by "If I fail 1/2" and "XD"? The jargon is beyond me!
Hi! Shan Shan and Wee Shing!
Same to you, Shan Shan and Wee Shing! Nice to have you visiting my blog! Do visit and give your comments. Wee Shing, couldn't quite figure you out from your picture as it was a bit dark. Do you have a brighter pic of you? Then, I'll have a face to the name!
Shan Shan, enjoying Chinese New Year with slides? That's killing two birds with one stone! You had one week to enjoy and another to mug, didn't you? I am sure you made good use of your time! Anyway, exam's tomorrow. Do your best; you'll do fine!
Shan Shan, enjoying Chinese New Year with slides? That's killing two birds with one stone! You had one week to enjoy and another to mug, didn't you? I am sure you made good use of your time! Anyway, exam's tomorrow. Do your best; you'll do fine!
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